meow

nO La..im not in love…kua kua kua tetipu…

Sebenarnyer…exam da nak dekat…besok benarnye…takut la…

Dub dap dub dap….

Dong Dong Dong Dong (heartbeat kuat giler…)

apela aku merepek nie….*tampar pipi sendiri yang tembam*

1.NOT GET MARRIED

2.Finish med school!!

3.Ride roller coasters with my eyes open the whole time

4.Bungee Jump

5.Travel to a foreign country with friends

6.Bake a chocolate cake with icing

7.Learn to apply makeup

8.Enter a running competition

9.Learn how to really paint

10.Publish a poem in a newspaper or a magazine

11.Volunteer as a primary school teacher and teach MATHS! Ha ha ha ha!!!

12.Make my own ice cream

13.Have a peek at the stars thru a telescope

14.Learn about maintaining a car and basic things like changing a tyre on your own

15.Learn basic sewing thru the internet

I was doing some work on my computer when my father knocked the door to my room. “Your mother needs you”, he said while sweet smelling newly  baked cookies and cakes came inside my room and teased me.
My mother just made pans and pans of cookies and two whole chocolate cakes. Wow!!

I helped tasted the cookies and washed the dishes while admiring the cakes.
“Irma, do you remember the poem you wrote, something about a secret ingredient which is love?”
I looked at my mother, ” Yes, but I lost it.”
She opened her antique  & stained recipe book and handed me a stack of papers.
“Here. Its not lost. I kept it for you, in my recipe book!!” I was elated.

So my dear little friends, here is it, its a bit sappy ….hey i was 19!

Chempaka’s Secret Ingredient.

There was a bakery owner
By the name of Chempaka
She was plump with rosy cheeks
Her sweetest smile adds charm to her laughter
That chimes gracefully through her lips
Bringing life, colour, to the Enchanted Forest.

In her small cottage of dough-baking factory
She made buns, cakes, brownies and crossaints
Which no animal in the forest can resist
For the reason is a secret ingredient
Which was ever known ceast to exist.

The secret ingredient tasted like vanilla ice-cream
In between layers of caramel
Coated with warm dark melted chocolate
So exquisite
Makes your mouth so cold you want to shiver
Later so hot you will want to cry
Suddenly dissapears from your tastebuds
You want to taste it again.

Her voice never spoke to reveal or to leak
Of the most lust-over secret so mysterious and deep
It must be stated and understood
Her choice was not for the reasons of greed
But the consequences it may lead
For it is magical, powerful, and unbeatable,
Also dangerous and fatal at the same time.

Chempaka’s been holding the secret for so long
One day wanted to return it to where it belong.
Since she first found it falling from the rainbow
So she decided to let the wind take it back to the skies,
How her heart breaks, when the wind wasn’t playing nice.

The wind, such a chatterbox as she is
Sang the ingredients to all animals and beasts.

“It is love! It is love! The Ingredient is Love!”

Chempaka cries to the wind, what have you done?
With her tears came streaming down across the land
The clumsy wind blew her tears up to the air
Mixing it with Love, which is already up there.
The wind is clumsy, and so her clumsiness will make her pay
As today she accidentally released the biggest fireworks to play.

The colourful fire rained onto all living creatures
Not missing a soul, not even the majestic vultures.
Burning the whole forest with unimaginable bright light
To coal and ashes, from ashes to dust.
Alas, the secret of this fairytale is lost.

For love, is often to be kept in silence
Since it is always mistaken by its evil twin obsession
Love never demands, never lies, and never asks.
It is forever independent and forever lasts,
In the hearts of those who knew of its value,so precious and rare;
They ‘d never settle for anything  better, equal nor less
Even if the whole world was given to them right then and there.

Written by : Irma Rafeah binti Ahmad.

I was searching for my shoes one night, in my car,parked in the basement. (Yes, I am a lady, so collecting shoes is not a sin, neither leaving some beutiful high heels and stilettos in the car for the just-in-case-i-want-to-feel-how-its-like-to-break-my-heels moments ).

So I was searching, frantically, and I switched on the engine to switch on the light of the inside of the car, and after 10 minutes..

There I found it!

So I was so happy to hold it in one hand and hold my phone and keys in the other, swiftly I shut close the door of my car with my butt altogether with an award-winning smile.

Suddenly it caught me that my engine is still running.

I pulled the door handle lah to open my car and get my keys out altogether with switching off the engine, but it just won’t budge. Funny, I thought. Its stuck.

Well, it took me more than a minute to realise that what these smart alex japanese people did was (yes, its always lovely to blame others) to put this stewpit autolock as soon as you start the car engine. How could they! Waarghh!

I rode up the lift to the 8th floor to my home where I pulled together my courage to tell my parents. They dropped their jaws, but eventually took it calmly.. with a lot of iman

They shared words of wisdom between them which goes " oh my god, only Irma can do that" and to me, "dont you ever do it again, promise?!" and "this is the last key", also "i hope you learned your lesson" . I surely did.

My heart sank and dropped and ironed as I quickly run to the car before some smartass kopak my car door and run away with it. I looked up heavenwards as I succeded before I gave a flyin kiss to my dusty ol’ faithful kia rio with love and much more

Dah penat dah aku tulis dalam omputih. Sempena cuti dari sekolah omputih aku yang 3 bulan ni, aku nak ‘pause’ kejap dari beromputih. Bahasa Malaysia aku tak gempak, so kalau cam ter-matsalleh atau ter-indon tu sorry lah ya sayang2! So baru2 ni aku dah batchmateku semua kene g geriatric site visit. Eleh. Lawatan ke rumah orang tua je. Kat sana kitorang borak2 dgn org tua pastu guna diorang utk practice musculoskeletal examination. hehe mintak consent dulu le..

Anyway on the way back tu yang rase lain tu. Cikgu tu selambe derk je bawak laju dan bila sampai kat roundabout shah alam yang tak bersignboard tu pakai jalan je. Cam lupe je yang aku ikut kat belakang nie. Mase tu dah rase laen dah, tapi sabar jela.

Pastu, dah nak dekat sampai petaling jaya tu dah lega sikit, masa nak approach satu flyover ni tetibe die swirve kiri takde signal ape. Shit aku pun buat desicion dalam that split second teramat bijak utk masuk kiri jugak . Kedegang melanggar la 5 atau 6 divider oren tu before aku brake untuk mengelakkan langgar divider besi tu.. Skali kedegang! Wira langgar bontot kete Rio ku. Kedegang! Ada Mazda merah ni langgar bontot Wira tu. What a genius, Irma, you just initited a 3-car collision.  Kete2 blakang tu memang teruk ar.

Mazda tu mmg teruk la kene kat bahagian enjin dia, terrabak hood dia. Wira tu kemik, pecah lampu-lampu dia.

Aku tak hero langsung. Mata terbeliak, ape yang keluar dari my lovely lips hanyelah.." I think I should stop, I think I should stop".. Tapi kengkawan aku nie, kata, "Irma, just go. There’s no way you can stop here." Betul jugak  dua org nie, Kalau stop memang teruk lah traffic jam habis, jalan tu dah la kecik. Aku pun jalan.

Ada satu kete wira ni lampu pecah berenti kat sebelah aku masa kat traffic light. Aku kata dalam hati, "kesian, nasib dia sama cam aku. Tah bile la dia accident." Tetibe teringat, eh, ni la wira kawan sepelanggaran aku tadi. Wira tu tak hon, tak buat pigi dah kat aku, dia senyap je. Nasib baik, kalau tak aku heart attack jam tu jugak.

Sampai je Monash, baru la aku tau, yang sebenarnya my act of running away is ok. The rule is "cemana2 accident pun, kalau kereta belakang langgar depan, kereta belakang memang selalu yang salah". Tah ape lah dulu belajar kat sekolah memandu yang kene kira "satu ribu satu, satu ribu dua..". Em..I dah lupe apa org tu ajar.

Aku check kete aku, tak kemik pun. Cuma bumper je crak sket. Depan pun tak dent langsung. Dalam hati, "cet, kuat jugak kete tua ni.Hehe"

So, aku pun ponteng kelas petang tu, sebab aku masih terkejut. Aku park, pastu mak aku amik la, balik umah. Mengade ke? Biar la..memang pun. Lepas dua hari, aku drive cam biasa. Dan I learned something about driving too..Kalau terlepas, jalan je.

There is a catch to this story. Balik je rumah, baru aku sedar yang aku tak bawak lesen memadu, IC, satu wallet aku tertinggal. Ish Ish Ish

Nasib baik tak berhenti..Heh.

Maybe I should define first what does crush means: Crush is minat. I have a crush on you means..saya minat kamu. He is my crush means..saya minat dia. Well, since that is clear..lets move on..

All my life, I have had numerous crushes for a lot of reasons.  Some are just for fun, some are joint crushes with my friends (also just for fun), some are because of their looks (curly hair, adorable eyes), and some, are for all the wrong reasons (to make someone else jelous, for popularity..you’ll be suprised how well this works).

Of all these male homo sapiens, there is one, which i can never forget (I sound very evil here)..There is a guy, which I had totally fell head over heels for. ( I wont tell you who he is! )

I dont know why, I guess it is because of his smile. A simple smile that took my breath away at the first glance. I have done some pretty embarassing things, like watching him from afar for too long until he realises it, walking slowly when he’s nearby. Haha. Somebody should have sued me for stalking. Haha.

My adorable puppy liking lasts …for two years.  It took me quite some time to realise, ‘hey, this isn’t gonna work’. I mean,there are millions of guys in this world, and I just let the chances slip away like running water for a guy that doesn’t even take a second glance at me. My love was blind. It was deaf too, since my friends have been telling me exactly the same thing,over and over again.

Alas, I packed up my heart and put it in a suitcase, and I head home. Home is where I, and most of us, belong, and it is a stop for me to wait..and wait…and wait…

and wait…

and wait…

and wait…

for never again a new crush to come along. But true love.

I am in a state of confusion now, yes I am.

Things that I think I knew like the back of my hand, now I’m not so sure anymore. Question as simple as "what is friendship to you?" that often I take for granted knocked my off my feet as a series of things happened this week.

Spare the details for the afterlife…it will, be screened to you later…mahsyar, remember? (For those who don’t have a clue,hehe forgive me)..

The thing is, these few days were like giant mirrors that constantly reminding me like a broken record, what kind of friend have i been…which is..not much of a friend. I admit it,and I am not proud of it either. In fact, I am ashamed.

In my life, I have sometimes abandoned my friends when they are in need. That was my biggest sin in friendship. I have turned down a couple of meetings for work, exams, and more work.  I have sometimes not answered smses, emails, whatever it is, name it, just because I don’t think it is important. I have taken friendship lightly as if I am the most important person in the world. At the age of almost-21, I now understand how understand how lonely ‘busy’ is, and how cruel ’silence’ can be.

What is friendship to you? And have you ever think, deeply, how to..simply just BE a friend ? Do you have regrets like I do?

These questions may look silly now, but when god gives you free tickets to watch a rewind of yourself replayed in someone else’s body…its not that silly anymore.

After the ‘very historical’ agama class we had today, my housemates & I went to eat dinner at Restoran Bidara. I ate my heart out, as usual..(yes, i use food as a theraputic medium, nobody’s complainin’)

Soon after, we drove back to the alley behind the apartment to find parking.. Aha! There’s one (and only one) space in front of the shop lot..

"Ohmy gosh there’s an ol’skool datsun eyeing for MY parking space from the opposite direction!!! And he is nearer to it than me!!! "

Being a normal human being born with instantaneous reflexes, I put my feet to the oil pedal and went for it! Muahahahaha I goddamn won it.

Suddenly I feel like I’ve drawn some publicity towards my car. I wonder why.

A group of guys in the shop in front of us stared us with one kinda look on their faces. (I couldn’t be THAT hot right…hahahaha !). I was confused until my friend beside me was practically screaming and panicking…

I was so close to the satria beside me. It is black in colour and it is NEW. So new and my car is just one inch from it. One of those guys are on the verge of getting up and going to my car.

I said to myself, "Ler……..I can do it la…I am a lady driver!" So I adjusted my car to a perfect position where no male driver can do it better. Hehe.(Kenala perasan sikit kan.) The guys sat peacefully as I walk away from my car..Hahaha

And so tonight, Irma redeemed the honour of female drivers…May one day F1 is driven by ladies in high heels…Amen.

I was having a one heck of a tuesday and wednesday that blew my mind.. Classes starting at 8pm and ending at 8pm.. Electrical blackouts, exams in a week…

And you know what, After 5pm today, I said to myself, hey why wont u go and wash your car and fill in some fuel since you look like u need some sunshine? (pucat, ugly, air liur busuk..heh just kidding)

So I went and those benggali men working at the esso car wash beamed at me..They are always like that. They always smile when they see me (regular customer lah!)

And bang it hit me. Those people are worse off than me. They work their butts off in the hot sun from 8am to 6pm just for 8ringgit per car. And they can still smile to me like they never had a problem in the world at all…(When most probably there’s war going on there. Maybe their family died of poverty there.)

So, the message today is, don’t exaggerate your fugly bad day. Yeah, you’ve seen better days, but there are people worst off than you and guess what,

Surprise surprise..THEY AIN’T COMPLAINING!

So why are we complaining…..?

Maybe we need a slap on the wrist from them to get us back to reality..the Real reality.